Mister Jacobs
by Dark Firaga Productions
Summary: <html><head></head>It was a slow day in Org XIII. A day ripe for the taking by the Author. So why is Xemnas stalking Roxas and Demyx still dancing? Crack. May contain random references to anything.</html>


This crack fiction is dedicated to my group-class teacher even though it is not related to him in any way whatsoever. Also, it is Xion pages long. Yay Xion!

It was a quiet day in World that Never Was. Zexion was making a cake with blueberries and Squall stew. Demyx waited eagerly for him to finish so he could put on his party hat and dance in smarty pants. Saïx was asleep at his feet.

In another room, Marluxia was doing his usual morning chore of checking his marijuana crop for dust mites. Just one mistake and Cloud would cut off his head and use it to play Air Hockey.

In a third room, Larxene was floating in her fish bowl, eating up all the fish flakes that Lexaeus was sprinkling into her bowl.

And in a fourth room, Axel and Roxas and Xion were talking.

"So then I said ginga? No no, i'm a ranga," Axel said

"how dare they call you a ginga!" said Roxas

"I will kill them for saying that," said Roxas

"Oh dear Axel, I hope you're okay," said Roxas

"###.# .. " said Xion.

"They had no idea they were talking to a Demi-God, so I just sent Sandwich Meteors down and that was the last of that," Axel said smugly.

"! ! !" said Xion

And finally, in the fifth room, Xemnas was working out why he had a heart but was still a Nobody.

Now I bet you're wondering why they all are like that. The answer is: I got bored and messed with them. But how did they get like this from how they originally were? Well, let's go through it one number at a time…

1) Xemnas

It was an average day in the World that Never Was. Xemnas was watching reruns of Friends and wondering why he had none. He grabbed another Paopu fruit from his sack and ate it.

But there was something different about this one. This one had Saïx nomming the other side of it.

Too late. Xemnas and Saïx had shared a Paopu. The rest of it exploded into rainbows and wedding flowers and a priest who said "You may now kiss the bride".

Xemnas SCREAMED. He didn't want Saïx! He wanted Larxene's boobies! Saïx however was enjoying this.

Then someone began to sing Boston Forever and Xemnas ran away to the Zelda world.

It was a long hard battle, but Xemnas made it all the way through the Water Temple without the Ocarina of Time because he is the king of impossible and anagrams. And SHOOF! He beat that swimming pool right in its face!

He felt proud as he watched the boss dissolve into thin air. Wait… he FELT proud? What is this malarkey!?

He saw what was at his feet. It was a container shaped like a heart. Xemnas carefully picked it up.

_Da da da DAAAA! You received a Heart Container! It gives you an extra heart and fills you with life energy._

But Xemnas did not have a heart. Suddenly EVERY EMOTION IN THE WORLD SPIRALLED INTO HIM IN A SPIRAL OF EMOTION.

Xemnas then exploded back to the World that Never Was. He sat there in his room wondering what to feel first.

First, he felt happy. He began to laugh. He sat there and began to flap his arms because all happy people do that. Xigbar walked in and wondered what the froak his Superior was doing. Then decided not to ask and left. Xemnas can be a weirdo on his own. Xigbar did not want to catch his stupid.

Then, Xemnas felt sad. But quickly changed because he did not like that feeling.

Then, Saïx walked in eating Doritos. "OMMETY NOM" he said while paying the accordion.

Then Xemnas felt ANGREE. He was TIRD sorry TIRED of being paired with Saïx. POO ON SAïX!

Xemnas then dragged Saïx into a closet and raped him senseless.

THREE DAYS LATER

Saïx and Xemnas were sitting on the TV. Lexaeus was watching a commercial for Choco-Lex and thinking how awesome he made his cereal. Next, he would start a line of Nacho Juice.

Roxas was innocently walking past. He had won a heart in a 'Knock Down 3 Bottles and Win a Prize' at the Fair and was looking at it lovingly.

Xemnas thought for a moment. Hmm. Would Roxas willingly switch his heart?

2) Xigbar

… is not important.

3) Xaldin

… is even less important.

4) Vexen

…is a douchebag. But here is his story.

Vexen was sitting in the jail cell of the You-Are-Not-In-This-Story-Asylum with Xigbar and Xaldin, who were making love on the one bed. Looks like you're sleeping on the pile of dead flies tonight, Vexy!

Vexen was so bread that he began to wonder where it went wrong…

3 DAYS EARLIER…

5) Lexaeus

Lexy was sitting in his room as you do every day. He was the loser of the bunch. He had no friends and no one wanted him around. So he decided to buy a condo.

After buying a condo, he decided how to make more munny. So he went into Vexen's lab to experiment with stuff.

He took his first steps into the lab… and instantly regretted it.

Rows upon rows of Heartless sat in pathetically small cages with barely any room to move or water to drink. They all looked starved and terrified. One of them reached out to Lexaeus. Its mutilated arm brushed past his. Lexaeus felt like throwing up. all of the Heartless were horribly disfigured.

Lexy GASPED! Vexen was experimenting on Heartless!

"Problem, Lexy?"

Lexaeus turned around to see Vexen wearing a troll face mask and standing in the middle of the doorway.

"HOW COULD YOU DO SUCH HORRIBLE THINGS TO THE HEARTLESS!?" screamed Lexaeus.

"Because I can." Vexen pulled out a massive gun.

"Oh noes!" said Riku.

A huge scuffle ensued. Lexaeus wrestled Vexen to the ground. At that moment, the Nobody Police walked in.

"Vexen Milwalski, you are under arrest for experimenting on heartless and assaulting a senior officer," said the nobody police officer named Maximan.

The two officers dragged him off to the You-Are-Not-In-This-Story-Asylum: the biggest prison in all of Crackdom where escape was possible because nothing is impossible any more.

Riku came out from the test tube he was in. "Hooray! You should make a brand of chocolate cereal and market it with your name."

"Why are you wearing a blindfold?" asked Lexy

"Because Vexen was testing Zexion's hair gel irritation on my eyes and now I can't get it off."

"What if i…" Lexaeus pulled off both the blindfold and Riku's eyes. Riku staggered eyeless around the room for a bit like a headless chicken, then the Wand of Mystik came out of nowhere and poofed him back to normal.

So after this, Lexaeus invented Choco-Lex, a healthy cereal that's full of chocolate. He also won Larxene in a competition.

Who's after Lexaeus? Oh right.

6) Zexion

He couldn't wait! The FAIR! The excitement was unbearable because he couldn't feel it!

Axel was dancing around the room with his pet pillow Cloudius. They danced and danced until Zexion came in with an angry face plastered to his head. Oh Zexy why can't you be happy for once?

"What are you doing?"

"Getting excited for the FAIR!" Axel had been acting weird ever since he'd discovered that he was the reincarnation of Akeus: the Ranga God of Creation in the land of Crackdom. Cloudius flapped his wings excitedly.

"what is there to be excited about in life?" sighed Zexy, as emo as ever.

"because me and Roxas are going to enter our prize cow!"

"Prize cow?"

Larxene walked in. "I AM NOT A COW!"

Axel sniggered, "Not one that moos."

Larxene was in between slicing his head off or bashing him with Zexion as a battering ram but decided to keep her cool. Besides, if she won the blue ribbon, she'd be the only one not going to the feedlot.

Zexion pulled out a rubber duck and began to juggle.

And finally THEY WERE ALL AT THE FAIR!

Axel and Roxas went to the games part. Zexion watched them go to the "Whack a Shadow". But what would he do? He was SO EMO he had no energy and so, he sat down on a bench.

IT WAS A MAGIC BENCH.

"hello, Ienzo!" said the talking magic bench.

"Actually I am a Nobody so my name is Zexion," said Ienzo I mean Zexion.

"But lo! It's more fun to say Ienzo, it rhymes, you know!" said the stupidly annoyingly rhyming talking magic bench.

"If you are magic then can you make me magic?" asked Zexion.

"Oh yest! That is best! I can make you forsake your bake to make the best cake!" said the cake obsessed stupidly annoyingly rhyming talking magic bench.

"So you can give me powers to make the best cakes?" Zexion thought. Perhaps he could impress Xemnas and become the new second in command. Or perhaps he'll just get a really nice hat.

"Ah oui! You'll soon see!"

AND THEN THE MORPHING CAKE OBSESSED STUPIDLY ANNOYING RHYMING TALKING MAGIC BENCH MORPHED INSIDE ZEXION! Zexion felt the cake-making part of his brain get EATEN by the hungry morphing cake obsessed stupidly annoyingly rhyming talking magic bench. The virus-esque hungry morphing cake obsessed stupidly annoyingly rhyming talking magic bench then planted itself inside his brain.

Zexion knew what he had to do. He entered the cake making contest.

He made a giant chocolate-vanilla-strawberry-banana-Paopu-SeaSalt-cat-Sephiroth-unicorn flavoured cake.

About 64 hours later, HE WON! YAAAAAY! Zexion got the title for best cake ever. Axel ate it all and spent the rest of the afternoon pooting it out again. Demyx was so happy he put on some cursed smarty-pants and danced all the way home.

But now Zexion had a problem. The still-there virus-esque hungry morphing cake obsessed stupidly annoyingly rhyming talking magic bench was still in his brain. The next morning he tried to make toast, but make a toast cake instead. He tried to pour a cup of water, but made a water cake instead.

So now, Zexion's only hope is that a little man inside his imagination will absorb the long-named still-there virus-esque hungry morphing cake obsessed stupidly annoyingly rhyming talking magic bench and have it in his brain instead.

Wait… if the mind-boggling long-named still-there virus-esque hungry morphing cake obsessed stupidly annoyingly rhyming talking magic bench existed in real life, does that mean this world is just someone else's thoughts?

7) Saïx

Saïx has just finished getting raped by Xemnas. he was sitting on the TV next to his superior when suddenly Xemnas began to stalk Roxas. Saïx thought that was no fun so he left the TV and began to wander.

He made it all the way up to Infinitely Tall Mountain: the mountain of Crackdom that leads up to Goddessland.

"OMG LOOK ITS SAïX!" said the Author.

Suddenly I come down from Goddessland.

"HEY BLUE-TOP! lissin, inside Infinitely Tall mountain is a secret magic item that can make all your dreams come true. Go n get it and I'll buy you a cupcake."

NOOO! Not a CUPCAKE! How did she KNOW that was Saïx's kryptonite?! Because she's the Author and is also me.

"GO Saïx!"

I kick him into the mountain.

AND THUS OUR FAVOURITE DEMI-LUNATIC (he's not good enough to be a real lunatic, like the Author) BEGAN HIS LONG ARDUOUS SEARCH FOR THE WHATEVER THE WORLD THAT NEVER WAS HE IS LOOKING FOR!

To be continued after Luxord.

For now…

8) Axel

OMG THE FAIR! He hadn't been to a fair since he'd won the title of Ranga God of Creation at the Crackdom County Fair!

Axel was so excited he wet himself a little. Roxas went to go win him a new pair of pants at the Whack a Shadow booth.

Axel discarded his pants and let his junk blow in the wind. Most fan-girls around all the worlds squealed like Justin Bieber. I however look away and start hurling in an empty tissue box because the bucket is too far away.

Airing his dick out, Axel began to wander. He walked past 3 stalls whose occupants all yelled at him to put some pants on. Someone began taking pictures, so Axel stopped to pose.

Suddenly Riku wandered out of nowhere. He had just made it out of the lab and was now looking for Sora. He had already been to Wonderland but all he found there was Xion and the Author doing things Riku was not supposed to see behind the tall grass.

"Excuse me, kind sir who is not wearing pants, have you seen a boy named Sora anywhere?"

"why, yes I have!" a sneaky idea was popping into Axel's head. "he's right this way, down this shady alley where no one can see anything happening! Here, I'll come with you."

The two slowly walked down the random alley between the stalls. It was dark and secluded. The perfect place to… to… Axel, what are you doing?

Axel grabbed Riku's shoulder and pulled him back.

"Riku, you-"

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT WAS SO GROTESQUE THAT RIKU, AXEL **AND** THE AUTHOR HAD TO GO TO NAMINÉ TO GET THE HORRIBLE MEMORY REMOVED PERMANENTLY AND REPLACED WITH A MUCH NICER MEMORY OF FINDING A BOX OF KITTENS AND DELIVERING THEM ALL TO KIND AND LOVING HOMES WITH NUNS AND FAIRIES.

Let's just say that what happened involved a couple of creepypastas that shall remain nameless for protection just so happened to be lurking in the same alley and then poopies hit the fan.

Later, Axel has regained enough sanity to return to the fair. The first thing he saw was Zexion's super mega cake. It was love at first sight. Axel instantly leaped over and ate the whole thing.

9) Demyzen of the Underworld

A.k.a. Demyx.

Demyx had stalked everyone to the fair because he was wagging the job of ridding Twilight Town of the giant heartless yet again bored.

He watched as Zexion, powered up by the wont leave this story mind-boggling long-named still-there virus-esque hungry morphing cake obsessed stupidly annoyingly rhyming talking magic bench, made the world's best cake. It was taking him a while so Demyx decided to do something else.

He wandered around the fair. He heard some sort of strange noises from a dark, secluded alley so quickly hurried by just in case.

Then, he saw the white elephant stall. All sorts of bric-a-brac people were trying to sell lay on the tables. But the only thing Demyx saw was a beautiful yet baggy pair of pants.

"I WANT THOSE PANTS1!" shrieked Demyx, pulling out every bit of munny he owned and throwing it at the shopkeeper.

"Ok," said the shopkeeper, picking bits of munny out of his flesh, "but I warn you. Those pants are-"

"BAYOOOOOOOTAFAL!" screamed Demyx so loud that there was a sonic boom and the stall and the ones on either side of it all fell down in the resulting shockwave. The shopkeeper will now use all the extra munny he got from Demyx to pay for ear surgery.

Demyx raced off to see how Zexion was doing, but it was pitifully slow and took him 58 hours to do so. He also stopped to make out with his new pants.

Finally, Demyx arrived at the cake place. Zexion won! He WON! WOO ZEXY!

"That's ma boi, Zexy!" called Demyx. He was so proud of his emo boyfriend that he put his new pants on to show off his male pride.

Suddenly Demyx began dancing. He danced and danced. His legs felt weak. He was dancing and couldn't stop. He danced so hard that he began to dig a hole. He went deeper and deeper into the self-dug hole.

… and I'm not sure what happened to him after that. I don't know If he took the pants off or if he's still dancing. Perhaps he went down too deep and got eaten by Groudon in the earth's magma.

I'm not actually sure how he managed to get into the prologue. I didn't even notice he was there until after writing it. perhaps that wasn't Demyx at all. Perhaps it was a ditto or something.

10) Luxord

Everyone's favourite half-dick half-not-a-dick was… too busy to be in this story.

But anyway… let's go back to Saïx, shall we?

10.7) Saïx part 2

It had been a long boring journey. Saïx had spent the last 6 months exploring the mountain, but his search remained fruitless. Hmm… fruitless… now Saïx was lost AND hungry.

"NIPPLES!" someone suddenly said.

Then Saïx exploded and that was that.

11) MA-RLY

… Must not die in Iris and whatever the other guy's name was's story.

OW said the Other Author (who is Moonnarx).

OW said Iris.

OW said everyone.

OW said no one.

OW said Xion.

OW this is getting tired bro.

So anyway Ma-rly was in his garden. Suddenly, a moose ran through the garden.

"MOO! Said the moose." Said the moose.

RAGHARAHGRAGRA said the guy on the radio.

"Wa ta fa?" said Marluxia. Suddenly his ears melted off. The ear goo turned the plants below it into MAROWANA which I can't spell.

"Hello, mArluxia," said Marowana the Marijuana.

"Why did you capitalize the second letter of my name?" asked mArluxia.

"Because Cloud is out to get me."

"NOOOOOOO!" screamed Cloud as he fell from the sky and began to writhe like a snake dying with steroids no I don't know. You think of an analogy.

"Oh no! It's Cloud!" said Marowana.

Cloud got up and cut one. "OMG I NEED THIS CROP OF MAROWANA!"

Marluxia began to sneak away, but was stopped as Cloud grabbed him with his badass sword.

"I NEED MOOOORE!" said Cloud. "I CURSE YOU! Now you will infinitely grow ears and have them melt so that I may have my maro! HOWEVER if even ONE DUST MITE is found on these plants, I WILL MILK YOUR MILKWEED AND RANDOM THE ROSTER OF GREAT DESTINY AND UNDERMINE YOUR TREES!"

Marluxia did not know what that meant but was too terrified to ask.

AND THUS…

From now on, his ears grow and deplete infinitely to satisfy Cloud.

Wait that sounds dodgy. Oh well. This is a crack fiction after all.

AND NOW FOR

12) Lar-lar

Larxene was sitting in the cow booth at the fair. Nibbling on her hay, she sat there comfortably as the judge checked her for flaws. She only had one point deducted: from when she kicked the judge in the nuts for squeezing her teat too hard. It wasn't dodgy. It's what the judges have to do to test the cows.

"MOOOOOOOO," said Larxene. This roughly translates to "ma bagel wants free juice" which is Dusk Language for "let me out of the stall, dick!"

Suddenly the judge walked past again. He stopped at Larxene and tied a blue ribbon to her coat.

Wait… that means… OMGWATAFAROFLCOPTER LAR-LAR WON!

"HA!" Larxene laughed as all the other cows were packed into the truck and sent off to the feedlot.

Feeling complete, she exited her stall and began to wander around the fair. She walked past many different stalls and Roxas wandering aimlessly holding his pants in front of him.

Suddenly Larxene collapsed. She couldn't breathe. She began to flop about.

"Here's one!" called some guy.

The next thing Larxene knew; she was a penis. Jokes.

The next thing she knew, she was clubbed over the head and dragged into a booth. Which was just as bad.

Suddenly she was in a fish bowl filled with water. And she could breathe. She was floating in a bowl in the Throw a Ball in a Fish Bowl and Win the Fish that was in that Bowl booth.

Larxene GASPED! The blue ribbon… had made her body think it's a fish! I would say 'turned her into a fish' but her physical appearance hadn't changed at all aside from the gills on her neck.

She sat there for three days. At that time, Lexaeus walked past. He decided to play the game. He threw a boob into the fish bowl and won Larxene! Why a boob? They were out of ping pong balls and the Author can't type 'ball'.

And soon she was at home with Lexaeus.

13) Roxas

Axel has just wet himself a little. Roxas decided to go do what any good boyfriend would do at a time like this and win a new pair of pants for Axel at the Whack a Shadow booth. All good boyfriends win pants for Axel.

He whacked quite a few shadows, a couple of soldiers, and Xion's hand before deciding that there were much easier ways to win pants.

And thus, Roxas took off his own. There! He now had a pair of pants to give Axel! He began to walk around the fair, looking for Axel, but his boyfriend was nowhere to be seen.

He ended up walking into the Hall of Mirrors. But little did he know, Maleficent had CURSED THE MIRRORS.

"Axel, are you in here?" Roxas asked nobody in particular.

"I don't think he's in here," said one of Roxas's reflections.

"Do you think we'll ever find him!?" fretted another one of Roxas's reflections.

"HAH! What do we need him for anyway?" grunted a third of Roxas's reflections.

"He's my best friend and he wet his pants so I have to give him some more," said the real Roxas.

"Not to mention he's SO HANDSOME!" said a fourth of Roxas's reflections.

"That too, Axel is awesome," smiled real Roxas.

Roxas dropped his pants onto the floor and spent a while conversing with the different reflections. They talked about the weather, work, and politics.

The sun was going down outside, so Roxas decided to leave.

"Goodbye, reflections!" said Roxas, exiting the building.

"Actually, we're coming with you!" said Roxas. But this wasn't Roxas talking. It was Roxan, the smart Roxas reflection.

"Let's all go back!" said the excitable Soxas.

AND THEN THEY ALL MORPHED INTO ROXAS'S BODY.

"Wow! We're one person now!" said Soxas.

"Actually, we're one NOBODY," said Roxan.

"Whatever it is, we're still in the same body," said Roxas.

"Yeah but now when we talk, it looks like we're talking to ourself," said the angry one named Oxas.

"Well, let's get back to the org anyway," said Roxas.

"And we can see AXEEEEL!" squealed the Axel-fanboy one named Roku.

So Roxas and his multiple personalities went back to the Org.

On the way, they stopped at the 'Knock Down 3 Bottles and Win a Prize' booth.

"Let's play!" said Soxas.

Roxas went over to the booth and paid the man. He got three balls. As in the man handed him three ping pong balls to knock down the bottles. The total number of balls the man at the booth has is currently unknown, nor are we keen on finding out.

THROW NUMBER ONE! Knocked down the top bottle.

"We are SOOO CLOSE!" said Roku.

THROW NUMBER TOW! Sorry THROW NUMBER TWO! Knocked down the second bottle.

"I calculate we will hit this last one," said Roxan.

THROW NUMBER THREE!

…

…

Pause for suspense

…

…

ROXAS WON! Yaaaaaay!

"Yes!" said Roxas

"YAAAAAAAAY!" said Soxas

"YEAAAH!" said Roku

"I was so worried!" said the scaredy-shadow Roxas reflection who hadn't spoken up until now named Woxas.

"Ok," said Oxas

"Well played," said Roxan.

"SHUT UP!" said Xion.

"What prize do you want?" asked the man with the balls behind the counter. He handed the balls to a rich millionaire that had just arrived at the booth and turned back to Roxas.

"I want…"

What could Roxas bring back to the org? There was a giant stuffed bear, some funny glasses, a lamp, Sephiroth, a table of basic facts, but what could be the perfect prize to bring back and show to everyone?

There. Between the lamp and the Sephiroth. A heart.

"I want the heart!" said Roxas, pointing eagerly to the heart.

So the man gave Roxas the heart. Roxas fell in love with the heart.

"I promise I will always look after you, heart," said Roxas.

"As do I," said Roxan

"Amen," said the rest of the Roxas personalities.

...

That is all the Org members.

…

Jokes.

Forgot one important member:

14) Xi… I mean ZZAZZ

While everyone else was out doing their crack moments, Xion was left sitting alone at the Organization Headquarters. Everyone else always got to do all the fun things and she was always the one stuck behind. Not even Roxas wanted to hang out with her anymore. He was too busy waiting to go to the fair.

"Hey Xion!"

Xion turned around and saw The Author standing in her doorway.

"The Author? What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Me? Oh I just thought you could use a little company," I say, flicking my hair.

"But why here? Aren't you supposed to be watching from Goddessland?"

"… good point. Truth is, I was playing Pokémon Red when I did something in the game and I thought of you. So! Since you have nothing else to do, wanna play some pokémon?"

"Sure," after all, Xion was not about to pass off the opportunity to become friends with The Author and rule the other Nobodies' punk-asses.

And then suddenly…

DUH NUH NA NUH

I WANNA BE, THE VERY BEST

LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS (LOL Xion)

DUH NUH NA NUH

TO CATCH THEM IS MA REAL TEST

TO TRAIN THEM IS MA CAUSE

DUH NUH NA NUH

I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND

SEARCHIIIING FAAAAR AND WIIIIDE

DUH NUH NA NUH

TEACH POKÉMON TO UNDERSTAND

THE POOOOOWER THAT'S INSIIIIIIIIIIDE

**POKÉMON! (Gotta catch 'em all)**

ITS YOU AND ME

**I KNOW ITS MA DESTINYYYYY!**

POKÉMON OOOOOOH YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND

**IN A WORLD WE MUST DEFEND**

POKÉMON! (Gotta catch 'em all)

A HEART SO TRUUUUEEEE

OUR COURAGE WILL **PULL US THROUGH**

**YOU TEACH ME AND I'LL TEACH YOU**

**POOOOOOOKÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉMOOOOOOOOOOON!**

(Gotta catch 'em all) GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL

**POKÉMON!**

"So what shall we catch?" Xion asked after the song number finished.

I think for a moment. "Hey Xion. You're like a glitch, right?"

Xion stared blankly at me.

"I don't mean that offensively, you just remind me of a MissingNo. A body without data. A face with nothing behind it."

Xion watches as I go over and watch the Old Man teach us how to catch pokémon. Then I fly to Cinnabar Island and come back.

"Here you go," I give Xion the pokémon I just caught. "I want you to keep it and think of me."

Xion smiled as MissingNo. came out of the pokéball. "Thanks, Author...?"

"Please, dahl, call me Kipa."

After that, we decided to take our MissingNo. and do something with it. We went out into the fields.

"Let's go fight someone!" called Xion, racing into someone random's line of sight.

"No, girl," I push START to stop everything. "I've got to go catch a Nidoran. Come on."

I can't remember where we went, but as soon as we got there, we knew something was wrong.

"Forget this, Kipa," Xion presses against me, "Something's up."

"You're right…" I reply, cautiously pushing START, "I can't get the menu open."

"Let's go into this grass!" Xion wandered into the grass, but was stopped by a trainer.

"HEY YOU!"

He didn't get to say anymore. MissingNo. caned his punk-ass. Which is surprising for a MissingNo.. Then a wild ditto appeared. The battle went down and that was that.

"Come on, Xion. We have to get back." I pull her into me and use fly.

We fly back to the spot we first flew from. Suddenly the menu appeared. Then left.

All of a sudden, a Trainer came out of nowhere. A… creepy trainer. He sent out a level 193 'M.

"Xion… what was the Special stat of the pokémon the wild ditto transformed into…?"

"254…"

"… someone throw a pokeball. Quick."

From that day forth, Xion was known as ZZAZZ. Well, that is the simplest way to put her new name.

… but it was the beginning for Xion's army…

…

COMING SOON: The Day You Went Psycho


End file.
